We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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