Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
