I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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