soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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