i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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