You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
