the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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