i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
