So drunk its hurt
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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