i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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