I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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