What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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