Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize