I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
