A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
