Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm bleeding and have questions
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize