you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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