i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
