My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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