It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
