shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
