then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize