Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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