She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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