i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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