But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
