Where is the hickey?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
