he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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