Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
PANTIES FOUND
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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