Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think your dad took our porno
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
