i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
