I smell stomach acid.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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