i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
