That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
