This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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