did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
