No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
