I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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