I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize