We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
the raccoons are back...
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