I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
