I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My vagina is very pro this idea
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
