How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize