Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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