Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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