Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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