hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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