are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
