Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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