When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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