do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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