; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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