dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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