I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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